I blame myself for that… I was the only one stopping myself from going there.

What’s holding me back from visiting my family? It’s not that I don’t want to go because God knows I really want to! The only answer I can probably give you is my goddamn self-imposed PRIDE!

Let me take you back last 2005, the year I first applied for a UK Tourist Visa.

Feeling confident from the success of processing the visa application of my Dad, my Sister and their friend, I applied for a Tourist Visa on my own… thinking that I could replicate what I did with my Dad and Sister’s visa application. But I was dead wrong.

Processing a Tourist Visa is completely different from processing a Dependent Visa. First, my supporting documents were not complete. Second, I had to undergo that once dreadful embassy interview. And finally during the interview, I was not able to prove that I was capable to travel financially. In short, my visa application got denied.

With only 20,000pesos in my bank account and having NO business or properties to support me financially, one would think that I will become one of those TNTs (Just so you know Tago Ng Tago, is a Filipino term for illegal alien who is in hiding. No offense meant to those who are TNTs and their families. I respect you and I admire your sacrifices for your family.).

Looking back, I would have to agree with the consul who denied my application. Being jobless and having my whole family in UK did hurt my chances of getting my visa approved. To them, it would seem like I had no intention of coming back. And they were right! Back then, I had no intention of coming back.

I was already expecting to be in UK the next month after the interview but unfortunately it didn’t happen. To be honest, I was devastated by the outcome of my visa application. My ego was bruised and I really felt poor. And because of that, I never applied for another visa again… but not for long.

After seven years, I can say that I’ve already moved on. To me, these were all things in the past now. These were great experiences that helped me shape the direction of my life these past few years.

Subconsciously, everything I did after my visa got denied was to make sure that I get to go to UK… from taking up nursing/practical nursing, to travelling within Southeast Asia, to working in Dubai, to joining a network marketing company, to setting up my own business, and even this travel blog. These choices were all part of my grand scheme to go to UK, so that the next time I apply for my visa it will be approved.

A friend once asked… why is it taking you so long to get there? Again, it’s my PRIDE.

These past few years, my parents kept on insisting that I should apply for a student visa. They promised to sponsor everything. Yes, it was a lucrative study and work opportunity for some, but not for me. (Don’t get me wrong, a few of my closest friends have student visas in UK and they are successful in their field. One even found true love and married a Briton. Of course, I am happy for them. And I can’t even wait to see them again.)

But with all humility, I just don’t see myself being employed. If I have to go there to work for my own company, then I would say yes. But if I have to work for other people, hell no…

My self-imposed PRIDE tells me to set-up my own business here in the country, be rich and successful, provide jobs for a lot of people, help my relatives and close friends, fund my parent’s retirement plan, pay for my sister’s college tuition in UK, establish charity institutions and pay for all my travels. The way I see it, money is here in the Philippines. (I’m sorry my patriotic self kicked in. lol)

I understand my parents though. They only wanted the best for me. They wanted me to be financially stable so that I could stand on my own two feet. I’m just grateful that they continuously give me opportunities to prove my worth even though to them my life is a mess.
(I love you Pa and Ma. Cheeziness… Hehehe)

Are we still talking about my self-imposed PRIDE? Yes, we are…

Look, all I really want to do is to go to UK, visit my family, tour around the country with them, and pay for everything. Yes, you read it right. I want to pay for everything. My family has already given me so much. They’ve already sacrificed a lot for me. And I think it is the right time for me to give something back.

With that, I am more motivated to work harder now than ever before. If all will be well and if all plans will push through, you might just see me in the UK Embassy later this year applying for a Visit Visa. That’s a promise!

Well, I guess this is it for now. I hope to see you in UK next year!

Note to my Kids:
As of this writing, Daddy is really working hard so that he can go to UK and visit your Grandparents and Auntie. I hope that Daddy’s determination will flow through you. Someday, when you want to achieve something, work hard to achieve it even though it may take some time. Do not be afraid to try what you think is right because you’ll never know unless you try. No worries, I will let you be. But if you think you’re heading nowhere, please seek and listen to Daddy’s advice, ok?

This is my entry for the Pinoy Travel Bloggers‘ 18th Blog Carnival – April 2012.

It’s better to be late than never. A promise is a promise and it is meant to be kept!

Theme: “My Ultimate Dream Destination and My Pledge to Turn It Into A Reality”

Hosted by: Robx Bautista of TheTravellingDork.com

Photo Credits:
http://www.monuments.ws/upload/London_Bridge_new_year.jpg